My Personality

My personality is a very hard thing to interpret.

I mean honesty it is.

Everyone who meets me sees me as a happy, goofy

cheerful kind of person.

That's true at times but that's the part of me that I can't just put in my bottle,

my bottle of emotions,

and chose not to open up for long periods of time.

If I did that,

I would be emotionless

and have a dull boring personality.

I've been through a lot of stuff

that should cause me to have a evil, mean terrible personality

but it doesn't.

I've been bullied about stuff that I can't control.

Everyday, I'd go to school and face the mean things that

people have said about me.

At home, I go through things that I have no chose but to hold in.

But no matter what though

I've always just smiled and pretended like it doesn't bother me.

It does though.

And till this day.

No matter what they would say

I'm still the happy person I am.

Or I try to be.

Then I think about things that have been said to me

or that I think about myself.

Those thoughts should make me have a

sad depressed personality but they doesn't.

I've been told that I was ugly, I wouldn't get married

and a lot of other things as well.

I think about it and dwell whether or not what they said was true.

I haven't stopped thinking about it.

I could go on and give you different types of situations

that I have been through and the types of personalities

that I should more than likely have but right away

I can tell you that those aren't my personalities.

So if those aren't it, then what is my personality?

Only one person in my whole 16 years of living could

guess and guess right what my personality is/like.

He guessed it by watching me and my moves

as well as my decisions that I make.

He has told me he doesn't want to be my friend

and that he doesn't like me

but the funny thing about that is

that he is more than happy to talk to me

and answer my weird questions

as well guess a few days before break what

my personality is.

His exact words,

just out of the blue to me and our friend during second hour,

were "Your personality is like a bomb."

I guess it's not technically out of the blue

because our friend said earlier

that I can't truly hate anyone,

which is true. I cant hate anyone.

Right then and there,

I was shocked

that he of everyone who I have ever talked to,

got it especially since he 'doesn't' like me.

I asked him why does he think this,

he said something that shocked me again.

"It's your actions and what you say."

I, of course, denied it and tried to make him give me evidence.

All the evidence he presented were true.

But I stilled denied it and our friend was trying to help him

but his example didn't quite tickle both me and his fancies.

So, when I talked to him again in fifth hour about how he was right

he said "I know".

Then I asked how did he guess my personality.

He responded "I'm good at picking up peoples personalities."

My personality is a bomb.

I keep everything in till I'm ready to explode.

All the teasing and how I get treated,

I keep it in and like it fester inside my heart.

I chose not to defend myself but I defend others.

I feel guilt for others instead of feeling guilt for myself.

I feel a lot of things that I can't describe.

I get defensive easily when it's not necessary because of my past.

I also dislike things about myself because of the past and present.

My personality is built up from my past, present

and possible future.

My personality requires my

problems to stay in and they sit there.

Waiting.

Waiting for the day I decide to finally explode.

But I wont let it happen.

Even if it is my personality.